Wednesday, October 31, 2012

An Announcement!

Well, in case (once again) you thought I fell off the face of this Earth, I'm still here.  Barely.  But I'm here.

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Well, usually I like to hear the bad news first to get it out of the way, but my bad news won't make sense without telling you first of this very good news.

I'm pregnant!

It feels very real to put this out there in cyberspace... especially after struggling with miscarriage.  But I'm 12 weeks along.  We've heard the heartbeat, had a good sonogram, and here's for the bad news, I'm feeling terrible.  Like my OB says, "I'm sorry you feel sick, but I'm glad you feel sick."

Pregnancy is a tough road for me.  Emotionally and physically.  I feel nauseated all day long.  Like all day.  Like from when I first open my eyes to when I go to sleep at night.  And if I don't eat enough I start to throw up, but the last thing I want to do is eat.  And everything makes me gag.  We've changed our soaps, laundry detergent, and deodorant, because eventually every smell, even the good ones, can send me over the edge.  So emotionally, this is wearing on the whole family.  When Mommy's down, nothing functions right.  We haven't done school.  I think we started week one and then I got sick.  We haven't unpacked or organized the house, which I desperately need to do.  Chris has done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and handling everything else with the boys.  We are a sight to see around here.  There's a lot of catching up to do when I start to get some energy back.  All of this is taxing on me emotionally.  I am, by nature, a doer.  I feel best when I am busy, organized, and in control of my day.  Months of barely squeaking by are overwhelming to say the least.  It really brings out the worst in me.  I don't handle nausea well.  I can work like a dog through a fever or a cold, but nausea makes me crazy.  It's a true trial for me, and one that I've never yet been able to handle with a joyful heart.  For those first couple of weeks, I can be optimistic and semi-happy, and then the weeks wear on, and I lose my stamina.  Anyone have any words of wisdom for me on pressing on?

More good news.  This should all end soon, and then I'll forget all about being sick and will be looking forward to having another baby.  Then I'll get pregnant again and wonder what I was thinking.  It's a cycle that's gone on for most of my late 20's and 30's :)

A special thanks goes out to:

My dad:  For rescuing us, flying here twice to help us.  He came in like Mary Poppins and cooked and cleaned and grocery shopped and cared for my children.  Dad, your secret is out.  You may have outworked, out cooked, and outserved Joyce this last week.  And that is no small feat.

My sweet, sweet husband:  For coming home and doing EVERYTHING!  Like coming home to the trails of what we did all day, and ate all day, and played with all day.  It's no small task working a full time job and coming home to a full time job.  And a crabby wife.  He deserves a medal, never mind that, a trophy.  A big trophy!  Love you, Chris.

I've been blogging for awhile, but am a novice when it comes to networking with other bloggers.  In other words, I feel dumb trying.  Like especially when that blogger has like thousands of followers.  For some reason, I can't stand feeling like a groupie, even though I am one, you know?  Sarah has never made me feel that way.  After past emails back and forth about her miscarriages and mine, she was one of the first I wanted to tell about this pregnancy.  And I know she totally understands this feeling sick thing, for her even more so because I have never had anything close to hyperemesis.  But as I reread her post on hyperemesis while I was sick, I sat there and cried because it was so much what I felt.  To a lesser extent, but it's nice to know someone out there understands.  So thanks, Sarah, for being my first blogging friend :)  People named Sarah are so great, aren't they?

Update:

Since I wrote this, I'm already feeling a little better.  I've had some better days and I'm not gagging my way through the day quite as much.  Even today, I have the smallest amount of energy.  I'm so so grateful... almost 14 weeks.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the gift of this new little one.



12 comments:

Sarah said...

Congratulations, Sarah!!! I'm so happy for you guys! I'm so sorry you've been so sick though. I'll be praying for you and your family. ~Sarah Wetzel

Sarah said...

I've been thinking so much about you the last couple days and I'm SO happy to hear things are good...you know what I mean by good. :) The sickness is SO hard, SO hard. You are probably at the point where you are starting to panic about "catching up" with life...your mothering, your schooling, your home. Don't panic! You will catch up-it's amazing what we can accomplish when we feel like ourselves again. So happy for you and thank you for all the kind words. I'm so glad that I could offer encouragement because just knowing that makes all the pain worthwhile.

Anne said...

Congratulations! That is exciting news! Your little one will be only a few months younger than our little one! :)

I expect your boys are excited, too. Tell them the Shaws say hi!

Lori said...

After the Kirk wedding I told Graham I thought you guys might be expecting and he said "Oh yeah, Chris told me." :) So excited for you guys and while I'm hoping for pink you guys do boys so well the world would definitely be a friendlier place with another Wolfe boy around. :)

Lori said...

After the Kirk wedding I told Graham I thought you guys might be expecting and he said "Oh yeah, Chris told me." :) So excited for you guys and while I'm hoping for pink you guys do boys so well the world would definitely be a friendlier place with another Wolfe boy around. :)

Sarah said...

Wow!! Congratulations! I know how it feels - I was sick with each pregnancy (to the point of acid burning through my eosophagus - yech - TMI?!) I learned that keeping some food in me at all times helped - but not always. There was no good 'cure'. And I know about the anti-groupie sentiment. I can't get into blogging-land or I'll feel so small and feeble. I just write 'cuz of the driving need within me...

Danell said...

I'm so happy for you Sarah! I'm at 16 wks right now and have just finished that horrible sick period! Ken came home everyday and cooked, cleaned, played with the girls and did everything while I sat pathetically on the couch and wondered why oh why does anyone ever get pregnant twice:) Hope you feel better soon!!!

Blairish said...

Sarah, I'm very happy for you. A new little one is such a great thing. I do understand the feelings you expressed though. Your description of yourself is very similar to my description of myself. My trouble comes in once the baby is born though. Still trying to catch up on the work from babies 4 & 5. Many days I look around the house and wonder if I'll ever truly catch up. Actually, your blog often has been the thing that has reminded me to stop worrying about the to-do's and enjoy the to-days. In any case, I'll be praying for you and your pregnancy as well as your homeschooling schedule, blogging, house managing....

Laura said...

Yea!!! Congrats!! I had severe nausea with this pregnancy and Zofran is my best friend:) even now
Still at 28 weeks:) i was hesitant, but would not have made it! Hugs!

Elma said...

Congratualtions!!!What a Blessing! Praying you feel better soon!!!

Another Texas Family said...

Congratulations Wolfe family! SO, so exciting! All of the babies in the church nursery have been moved up and this morning I said 'It's time for another round of babies!'

Angel said...

Congratulations!!! Can't believe I didn't see this sooner! We are SO happy for you. And I wish I could just fly down there and whip everything back into shape for you. Where is that magic wand when you need it? Hang in there, you're almost to the good part.