First Day of School

 

First day of school as a 6th and 8th grader.  

It's strange to say that.  I guess it's more normal to put your five year-olds on the bus and cry because they are so little and are taking such a big step.  I thought it would be more emotional for me, sending these two to a "formal" school.  Maybe it's because they are still home quite a bit.  But I think more than that, they were ready.  I was ready.  It was time.  I think for every family it's different.  As a homeschooler, it's always been hard for me personally to read/see/hear that other homeschooling families that I respect are sending their kids to school, because then it made me doubt my decision to keep ours at home.  But I don't think that has to be the case.  For me, I was feeling in over my head.  I was feeling like it was pushing me to a place of worry and anxiety that I didn't like.  I didn't have confidence that I could get them ready for college.  In those younger grades, I did have confidence that they were getting enough, and that what they weren't getting from me, was being made up for in all the benefits of homeschool (lack of peer influence, extra time spent in creative play, and lots of hours reading).  

This parenting thing is something else.  Young moms, it doesn't feel like you think it will.  I can't believe I'm here.  I was sitting in an ACT prep meeting this summer, wanting to crawl under my chair and go back to the times of changing diapers and Matchbox cars and trips to the zoo and picnics in the park and pureeing baby food.  All of that came more naturally to me.  This stuff, this raising of human beings, it ties my stomach in knots, thinking of that day when they will actually leave our home.  Will they have what they need?  Am I making too complicated?  Am I making it too simple?

But I do know this.  There's lots to stress over.  But I KNOW God loves and cares for my boys even more than I do.  He's equipping them with what they need, aside from MY efforts.  He may be taking away what they want (or what I want for them) because it's for their own good.  And I need to learn to be okay to sit back with my cup of coffee and enjoy being a spectator in what God is doing in their lives and hearts.  It's becomes less about physically serving them, and more about being a guide and an example and a teacher.  But let me tell you, I'm better at the serving than the being.  So this is new for me.  

Maybe by the time that little one in background is a teenager I'll have this parenting thing down.  

But I doubt it ;)

Happy first year of school boys.  I love being your mom!

What HAVE We Done This Fall?

I'm sitting in Starbucks on a Saturday watching people come in and order BOGO holiday drinks.  I think that means that fall is officially over and that the Christmas season has begun.  Seasons are a wonderful thing.  We are starting to have seasonal routines as a family.  But this fall we did something a little different.  We did nothing.  We didn't sign up for anything.  We spent lots of time at home.  I have to admit I'm one of those discontent people who has to fight comparisons.  When I'm super busy, I covet free space on the calendar.  And then when we're not super busy, I worry about whether it's best.  The years are flying by at warp speed and I want the kids to look back at their childhood and think of it fondly.  I don't want it to be too rushed because then we can't enjoy all the fun.  But then I don't want it to be boring (because in my house that sometimes means we bicker more).  It's a fight to be balanced as a family and I wish I was really sure that we were doing it just right.  I can only pray that God blesses our efforts.

This fall was slow.  We are doing some different things in school and I knew from the beginning that meant we had to be at home more.  I'm teaching at our co-op.  This is my first year teaching five, yes FIVE, grades.  We are still plugging away in piano.  We didn't really do sports.  We didn't leave the house much during the day.  We did lots of school.  We tried to have people over, even though that meant sometimes they came over with only a semi-clean house and a not-very-gourmet meal.  Home schooling older kiddos (this is for a later post) is not for the faint of heart.  It's maybe my hardest season with them.  It's a lot of work for everyone involved, especially me.  And yes, I've had moments of feeling sorry for myself like I do every fall.  

What's the point to this post?  I guess it's just to document this fall in our family.  We have spent lots of time together.  I don't want to forget the moments.  I'm thankful for them.  They're not glamorous, but they're ours.  I've been trying to pick up my big camera for more everyday moments.  Usually I do that more on instagram because my phone is more readily available.  But I love these faces all big and blown up with lots of pixels.

And just a few off my phone too :)

Wrapping Up Another Year

Life is full of surprises.  At age 22, I never would have dreamed that at the age of (almost) 40 I would still be spending my days at home schooling my kids.  That would not have sounded appealing to me.  But that was before I was a mother, and before I had five boys.  Now I love each and every minute that we get to have together.  Well, maybe not every moment, but most moments.  Childhood is fleeting.  It's there and gone in a moment, and for right now, home schooling fits for our family.  I love that we are all together most of the time.  We enjoy our cozy days at home learning together.

We did it.  We finished another year of school at home.  This year was a good one, but it wasn't easy.  We worked hard.  Let's face it, I worked hard.  From the moment I get up, there are little people needing me pretty much until the moment I go to bed.  But we are learning together about how this "homeschooling older kids thing" needs to go.  Graham and Asher had to step it up a bit this year and become more independent.  This was also our first year of Classical Conversations and they had to jump into a program that is probably best done from the time you are younger.  We had lots of talks about working hard and about WHY school is important (because it certainly isn't always fun for my boys).

On to some pictures...

These pictures were from their research papers.  Graham was William Wallace.  He read his paper is full accent and loved every minute of it.  Getting up in front of people is his thing.  

Asher was John Calvin.  Luckily, we have a couple people in our lives who went to Calvin College who could lend him a "costume."  He did a great job too, but was probably more happy when it was over.

The older girls are so sweet to my little boys.  And Nathan is quite smitten with them.

He even got a lesson from Robin Hood ;)

And the whole 4-6th grade class.  It was a great year.  

But now we've moved on to summer.  And summer is just the best, isn't it?

Homeschooling and What DO You Do With the Little Ones?

I'm not sure what is harder about homeschooling… the fact that you have to home school your older kids or the fact that you have to sometimes ignore little ones while you do it.  Let's face it.  Every form of education has its pitfalls, and one of the downsides of homeschooling is that you don't get the same kind of quality time with your little ones as those who, say, might have their kindergartner and second grader in school… while the two and four year old are home.  It's hard.  I won't tell you that it's not.  Or maybe it was just hard for me.  When Graham started kindergarten, I had three others that were four and under.  It was hard to focus in on Graham without complete chaos going on in other parts of the house.  And then once Asher entered the home school scene, Nathan was here.  And we all know he was a Cry Cry.  He wasn't so fond of not being held, or being held, or sleeping, or not sleeping, or really anything at all… except eating which you could only do for some many hours of the day.  It was not an environment condusive to learning, but somehow we still survived it.  Chris would come home and I, being the good wife that I was, would complain about the events of the day for about 15 minutes before he could get a word in.  But his response was always calming and true.  It doesn't have to be perfect to be mostly good.  If Graham and Asher were in school, I'd be waking the younger three up from their afternoon naps every day to pick them up, and dragging them out of bed earlier in the morning.  They wouldn't have much time with their big brothers and we would all not have been as rested as we were.  As I said earlier, there are pitfalls to any educational decision.

I only write all that to say, I get it.  It's hard emotionally on us moms.  It's hard because we wonder if it's best for everyone.  It's also hard because it's just hard to manage all the chaos and care for all the needs all at the same time.  Haven't we all wished, as homeschool moms, that we could have a clone from time to time.

Here is how our homeschool days looked for me during the different stages of our kids:

The early early years//my kids were 5, 4, 3, and 1

Kindergarten took me about an hour a day of seat work.  The rest was reading which I could do with a little more chaos.  I tried to get it done in the morning when Joseph was napping and Samuel and Asher were playing, so that my nap times were free.  So when Joseph (12 months) went down for a nap, I would make/encourage the older ones to have a quiet hour in bed with only books.

The early years//boys were 7, 5, 4, 2, and newborn

This is when Asher joined the mix, and to be honest, it was my hardest time of homeschooling.  But I think this was true mostly because Nathan was such a hard baby.  We did school in the morning while Joseph slept (yes, he still took morning naps at two) or played in his crib with toys, and Samuel would do something quietly in another area of the house.  Sometimes he would sit with us and do a coloring sheet.  Most of the time Nathan wouldn't nap for longer than 30 minutes and he would join us and I would be nursing and teaching and doing the best I could.  We would finish in about two hours, sometimes less, sometimes more.  The younger boys were learning, even then, that school was just a part of our day.  They naturally learned what they could and couldn't do while we were doing school.  If it was a terrible morning, I could make up whatever I missed during afternoon naps.  

The early elementary years//my boys were 9, 8, 6, 4, and 2

Now the three oldest were in school.  After breakfast, I would let the boys play either do chores or play for about an hour.  At about 10:00, I put Nathan in his crib with toys.  He would sometimes fuss just a bit, but mostly would settle right in to playing independently.  Sometimes Joseph would join him and play in the same room.  This only worked because there was a physical barrier between them.  This time wasn't completely peaceful, but it was peaceful enough to get things like Math, piano, and handwriting.  Then we would break for lunch.  After lunch and playtime, Nathan and Joseph would both take a good long nap and we could tackle all the rest of the subjects like English and Writing that took more guidance from me.  Somehow, I always felt that those subjects required some amount of peace and quiet.  Then I would read something to them related to their history and call it a day.  These years seemed much more manageable than the former.

The mid-elementary years//my boys are 11, 10, 8, 7, and 5

This is where my boys are right now!  And I can't believe it.  I can't believe that this year is my SEVENTH year of homeschooling.  I'm already halfway through Graham's education.  Graham and Asher are in 6th grade, Samuel in 3rd, and Joseph is in 1st grade.  Nathan is the resident clown and playmate for whoever finishes their school work first.  He basically has a blast all day long.  Right now, I spend more one-on-one time with Joseph than anyone else.  Getting them up and reading isn't hard, but it is time-consuming.  I work with Samuel and Joseph in the morning while Graham and Asher do their independent work.  Then I work with Graham and Asher with whatever they need help with after lunch.  But the days are long.  I won't lie to you.  There's no finishing before lunch anymore.  And sometimes there are things to finish after dinner.  In some ways, older kids are easier because they are more independent, but in other ways it is more difficult because there is much more work to be done.

Did you make it through that long monologue?
Whew.

I'm giving you ALL of that information because it gives you an idea of what our days were like during different seasons of family life, hoping that you can relate to one of them.

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this.  Teach your kids when they are young to play by themselves.  I think it's a skill we can teach them when they're little, even babies, and when they are older, they won't expect to be constantly entertained by you.  It has kept me sane over the years.  I did this by turning their morning naps into playtime with special toys in their crib or a gate up in their room.  Over the years it has helped me accomplish things like take a shower in peace, make an important phone call, and spend some semi-peaceful time educating my other boys.  

Playing by himself when he was three while we were doing school... 

While he was hanging out in our room with some toys.

If I had to do it all over again, I would be more willing to hire or ask for help.  My husband encouraged me to do this and I would make up excuses about why it wouldn't really help or about how we couldn't justify the money.  But he was right.  I should have pursued ways to make it easier on me and the kids.  I think part of my issue was pride.  I wanted to be a homeschool success and didn't want to be perceived as one of those moms who was a mess, even though we all are.  After all, so many women do it without help.  So you know yourself, and what your family needs.  If you have the resources to hire help, do it.  If you have people in your life offering to help you, take them up on it.  I wish I would have.

I'd love to hear any questions you have in the comments.  Or you moms of older kiddos, if you have any advice for me as I take on junior high next year, I'll gladly accept it :)

Homeschooling and Comparisons

This is the first post where I get into the nitty gritty of home schooling.  I'm not much of an advice giver, but you guys have asked (very nicely) and so I'll do my best to share with you what I've learned.

Let me begin with a few disclaimers.  I have only boys.  I know NOTHING about schooling girls.  I have a feeling it's a whole different ballgame.  I have a feeling I wouldn't be saying things like "a whole different ballgame" if I didn't have all boys.  So if you have a house full of girls, you might write an entirely different post.  But I do think some of these principles will apply to whomever you might have in your household.

Second, I'm not an expert in the area of home schooling, not by a long shot.  All I have is my own experience and research. 

And last, the way that we've home schooled hasn't been tested and proved.  My oldest son is 11 and I'm hoping and praying just like the rest of you that my boys will have what they need to make it in this great big world. 

  We began homeschooling in 2007.  Graham was five.  We had just moved to Minnesota and I didn't know a soul who home schooled.  It was lonely, and Graham (bless him) may have been one of the hardest kids ever to start with.  The boy had such an -- um, unique learning style.  He didn't like writing, which kind of makes subjects like handwriting difficult, or math since you have to do things like write your name on the top of the paper and be able to write that 1 + 1 = 2, or art since you have to do things like draw and paint.  And to top it all off, phonics wasn't clicking with him all too well either.  All the while, my friends' kids were excelling in whatever school they were in and I was feeling like a great big failure and feeling like it was all my fault.  On the days that I was tired and fed up with it, we fought, and I would lose my temper with him, and all those idealistic images of home schooling FLEW out the window.  Snuggling up and reading books were a disaster because the other three kiddos (who were 4, 2, and 1 at that time) didn't much care for snuggling up.  They much preferred to make loud noises, run around and irritate each other while I was reading.  Graham didn't like any part of school and I felt like he was getting further behind with each new day.  STRESS.  I remember it so clearly.

I'm giving you the background because I know starting can be HARD.  It's hard to not compare yourself and your kid to what everyone else is doing.  And sometimes home-school moms are overly competitive.  We all want to brag that our kids love to read, are obedient, and work diligently to get their school work done . . . all the while we are memorizing Scripture.  It's never been that pretty in my house.  We have days like that, and sometimes seasons like that.  But then one of us plays the sinner, and it's all over.  We struggle through some days and soar through others.  We celebrate the good days and apologize for what went wrong during the bad ones.  Home schooling is just like life.  It is an instrument that God uses to refine us.

The first part of this is written all to give you this great pearl of wisdom, or which you probably know.

Don't compare your situation or kids with others' situations and kids.

This one is hard, because I know you will.  It's impossible not to.  I still do it.  Too much.  But I've experienced enough success and failure to know that it's worthless, all the comparisons.  But I'm asking you to try.  Kids are all so different.  So different.  And they will achieve things at different paces, especially when they are young.  That is o.k.!  Some of my boys are ahead of where I need them to be.  Some struggle with keeping up with what we assign them. They're different.  Some kids are more patient.  Some are more motivated.  Some are good at writing.  Some are good at math.  Some are good at reading.  And that poor first child.  We want them to be perfect at everything because that makes us feel good about ourselves.  You've heard moms talking about their kids.  Can you believe Johnny is only two and knows all his letters and sounds?  My Jenny devours books.  She's always reading.  Joe was asked to play on the all-star team.  We hear these things, and though we want to be happy for them, we have a hard time because we feel like a failure.  And as a home schooler, there is no school or teacher to blame.  There is only me, myself, and I.  And I've let the pressure get the better of me more times than I'd like to admit.

With time, I've become more comfortable with the idea of resting in God when it comes to my kids and what they will become.  I've always been comfortable with the sovereignty of God when it comes to things that are more spiritual, but when it comes to something like school . . . well, those things are up to ME!  I must get tasks done with sheer will power and hard work.  These are so intertwined.  There are some areas in school that can be accomplished with hard work, and others that you must simply wait for.  Waiting is hard.  Waiting for your child to learn to read, or waiting for them to finally hold that pencil correctly in their hands, or waiting for a bad attitude to be overcome.  Waiting and trusting in God that he has your child's best (which may or not be success) in mind is something that requires faith.  God gave your children to YOU.  You are the expert on them.  You can only push them so hard to be who they aren't.  Love them.  Teach them.  Pray for them.  Nurture them.  These are the things you are called to do.

For my next post, I'll get to that ever-popluar question, "What do you do with those little kids while you are schooling?"

Homeschooling Through the Years

We're seven weeks in to our home school year.  And this is my seventh year home schooling.  I can't believe how fast it's gone.  I was organizing our school notebooks last weekend and paged through some of their old work.  Each of my little "students" are so different.  They have different learning styles, strengths and weaknesses, and learn at different paces.

Looking back at home schooling is a bit like looking back to the time when you had one kid after you have your second child, or your third.  I remember having Asher and wondering why in the world I ever thought having just Graham was a challenge.  What's hard about a baby?  After all, they don't throw tantrums, talk back to you, or hardly disrupt your life at all?  In hindsight, most things seem easier.  That's why our younger kids have things easier, and our firstborns get our more stressful selves.  I looked back at home school stuff from earlier years and wondered why I thought some stages were so hard, because each one seems more difficult and more all-consuming than the year before.  Graham was a later reader and it completely gave me a complex.  I was so nervous about it.  Now he's my most avid reader, way beyond his grade level.  Joseph has been a later reader and I haven't even given it much thought.  I spent a whole year pushing Graham to do something he wasn't ready for.  And with Joseph, I just stopped for about six months and picked up the very same book, and now we're breezing through it.  No stress at all.

It's a whole new ballgame having bigger kids.  For so many years, home schooling was hard because it had to be accomplished in the midst of diapers, breastfeeding, inconsistent napping, and toddler fits.  Now that I don't have any of those things, it IS more peaceful around here (except when it's not) but that's traded in for a whole lot more school work.  

I'll leave you with a few pics from our days...

We still do these clipboards.  The boys love crossing things off.  And I like that they don't need to ask me what they need to do.

This year, I splurged and bought and all new pencils, colored pencils and crayons.  I had plenty, but I allowed myself to throw them all away.  I wanted to buy new school stuff just like everyone else.  It was $10 well spent, more for my sake than the boys!

And so pretty in the sunlight :)

I'm spending more time with Jopie this year.  He always whines a bit when we get started, but enjoys it in the end. 

I will be very sad when those teeth grow in.

A lunch break on the back porch.

And one day, we finished early and they got to watch a movie while I got a few things done in peace.  This was one of those rare days when the stars aligned just right and we got it all done in record time.

I hope to do a few more home school posts this fall.  I always feel a little silly giving advice, but I think I've learned a thing or two over the last seven years.  There's a few things I wish I knew when my kids were younger.

I'd better get back to my day.  We're enjoying this rainy Monday.  Things are more relaxed because Daddy is home, thanks to Mr. Columbus! :)

Getting into a good groove... and some other randomness

 Well, fall (besides the weather aspect) is in full swing.  Fall is the season I miss my northern roots the most.  While everyone else is posting about fall colors, leaves crunching under their feet, and pulling out their jeans and sweaters, here in Texas, we anxiously await a day where the high is in the 80's instead of the 90's.

Back to my point... fall is here.  Our new school year has begun with a bang.  We're doing more school than we've ever done.  Graham and Asher are in 6th grade, Samuel is in 3rd, and Joseph is in 1st.  Nathan joins in on whatever he can learn through osmosis and will start kinder next fall.  All these grades are rather time consuming.  And so far we've finished our days later than ever, like pretty darn close to dinner time.  Or until it's time to pack up for baseball.  It's going to take a couple more weeks to find the perfect groove.  I've tweaked things every weekend in preparation for the next week. Classical Conversations has been wonderful, but there's a lot to explore.  And what I'm finding out is that the more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it.  How disappointing that success requires things like hard work and follow through!  

So here's a recap of the last couple of weeks.  These are phone pics.  I haven't uploaded pictures from my big camera since we got back from Minnesota.  But when I do I'll share them too.

After church at Torchy's.  Have you been?  It's a Wolfe family favorite.  I always get the Independent.  Chris gets the Fried Avocado.  And the queso is to die for... not your normal run-of-the-mill queso that's made from some kind of gross cheese product.

Yesterday Asher was the first batter Beckett ever pitched to.  A historic moment between two sweet friends.

We had a birthday to celebrate (Happy birthday, Leighsa!) so we HAD to make this cake and eat it all weekend long.  And don't worry, Nathan got a hair cut the very next day this pic was taken.

I had the realization that all of my example grammar sentences include a trip to Target.  

A morning break on the porch swing.

We just finished reading about the Berlin Wall, and I surprised the boys by showing them a real piece of it.  My Aunt Lianne served in Germany as a missionary all of her adult life, so she blessed us with this piece of German history.

An afternoon pick me up.  Long school days require iced coffee with whipped cream.

Legos everywhere these days.  It kind of gives me the hives but this is what they do while we do school.  I've decided it's better than some form of media.  And one day when the legos are pushed aside for something else, I'll miss it.

My sweet husband reading to his boys.

Laundry needing to be folded at the end of a long week.  At least it's all clean.  Oh, and notice that curtain I made which I still have yet to add lining to.

A trip to Ikea last weekend.  It was crazy town there, but we survived it thanks to the meatballs and cinnamon rolls.

My first time to set a real table in our new house.  I pulled out my mother-in-law's china for the special event.  I think it would have made her happy, knowing that I'm using it.

This one is called Mommy's vice.  I try to stay away from the artificial sweeteners but sometimes you just need a Diet Coke.

Turtle watching during the school day.  So Charlotte Mason of me. 

And last but not least, I finally unpacked the last box... a little over a year later.  

Congratulations to me.

Have a wonderful Monday!